SOA(Saying No, Optimism & Finding Alternatives) Strategy for better living---- Possibility & Justification

                                

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Did My parents come ? A 19 years old Girl asked the Ward boy. Ward boy told her that they came but did n't disturb her as she was sleeping. That girl admitted into the rehabilitation center before my joining there as a Psychiatric Case manager.

I got interested & went through the case history & collected information even from the Ward boy. That girl was forced to opt "software- course(BCA)" for her bright carrier, which she was n't interested. Few months struggle to adjust with that career & to make her parents happy, ended with the admission in this center as a mentally imbalanced patient.

Why did n't that girl reject that option as her career? The question obviously reflects an action to be taken--- "Power of saying NO"

"Power of saying NO"? I uttered , which reminded my inability/deficiency of having that power. It reminded me the incidents of few years ago where I had to continue my job in spite of the fact that I got a better opportunity. I got astonished when that employer in spite of promising of salary increment,did n't keep his word ,rather a huge amount was deducted from my salary when I took leaves for the funeral purpose of my mother.

Both cases- whether that girl or me reflect the urgency of adopting "SOA" strategy for our better living . Let us find the justification in adopting such strategy.

A)

There might be many persons like me or that girl who lack that skill of "saying NO".

There exists folks, norms, culture in our society. From our childhood ,we have been taught to follow & to preserve the value of those aspects even might be going through compromising or adjusting with the system. Thus , to keep the system continuing & to achieve a "good boy" or "good girl "image, we gradually enhancing possibility of "big Yes" by suppressing our inner feelings & wishes.

That Good boy Or Girl later in their life face challenge within whether to go with "YES" or following "saying No" but reasons bellow will justify no doubt of learning that skill.

• By saying yes actually we insult our self esteem or enhance lowering of it ,if that yes does n't come with our own consent.
• We would n't be able to go far way with which, we don't like at all.
• It sends a wrong message to the receiver in communication regarding our feelings & consent.
• This deficiency even might be a causative factor for deterioration of our physical as well as mental well-being.
• It reflects lack of self- care factor towards ourselves.

Lack of saying no power will attract manipulation.                                                                  Actually list might be long but from few points mentioned above we can't deny that woman at their work place suffer most & face adverse situation like- harassment,embarrassing gesture or body language.                                                                 From the survey conducted by the "Network in Women in Media", we came to know that 1/3 of the participants in the survey, admitted of the harassment at work place & more then 1/2 did n't report. From (India spend), it was found that around 27,533 cases were registered as sexual harassment during first 7 months of 2018. #me too movement became popular where woman shared their harassment in social media & touched heart of millions. According to npr.org --- 77% women & 34% men (participated as respondents) experienced verbal sexual harassment.                                                                                                                         In the European Union 55% women admitted of being sexually harassed at least once(www.worldbank.org).                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Power of saying No-- gives clarity, our choice/likes /dislikes & acts as a catalyst in boosting our self confidence & provides safety net as well. Whether female or male, most of us can't utilise this skill sometime due to feeling of insecurity with respect of economic, social,career & above all responsibility towards our family or self.                                                                                                                                                                          In 2002, Denniel khaneman,a behavioral psychologist who received noble prize for his work, mentioned that "NO" is the new "YES". He also mentioned of its(NO) coming back strongly in our societal structure.                                                                                                                                                                                We, from our life experiences ,have understood that we can ease this stress with internalising of another factor in the strategy i.e-                                                                                                                                                                                                                      B) FINDING ALTERNATIVES:-                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Actually this aspect should be before of ist one or at least simultaneously. A social worker or clinical psychologist would try to provide knowledge about possible options to their clients to overcome that situation. In this way when we face adverse situation,its better to have next possible alternative/options. Problem will always be there but a dynamic person face it & find a solution through adopting next option & thus become happy. For e.g ---------                                                                                       

Economy-

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• In this pandemic one might feel financially in -secured due to job loss/lay off/staying home for long period etc etc. Now instead of going down, one should start searching of earning options through online platforms, applying job through MGNREGS(Mahatma Gandhi national Rural Employment Guarantee Schemes in India) or Swadesh card(for migrants returning India), starting of preparing masks & market linkage through SHG, searching job in E -commerce industry(it is still expanding).                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    According to livemint.com(April'2020)- Amazon is adding 75,000 more jobs & is expecting to spend $500 Million to expand its business globally. As per report of CMIE(Centre for Monitoring Indian Economy) , There is a decrease in unemployment rate(%) from (May to Jun)'2020 . In May month Unemployment % was 23.48(in India) & in Jun month it was 10.99%.                                                                               Jobless claims have fallen in US. At-least 12 countries (mostly from Europe) took step in preventing unemployment by providing relief through Employers. (Ref- brookings. edu, Brookings Institution,Washington) . Thus we can see the effort going on every where through possible steps/options to solve economic problem.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                With everyone, we should also add ourselves by saying "NO" to our ego & to adopt dynamism in searching & adjusting with new kind of earning way. We do n't know the pattern of market place & economy in our forthcoming days.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    In our forthcoming uncertain future, we should be ready with our " Finding alternative" strategy.                                                                                                                                       

  Health :-

                                                                                                                                                       -

   

  There is increase in covid affected total cases(11,659,084, worldwide) as per data of worldometer,6th july with total recovered- 6,599,641 thus reflecting on high recovery rate .

  Researcher in every country are trying for the invention of vaccine. Till that drug like Remdesivir, Febi -Flue etc had been thought as an alternatives against COVID virus.                                  Now, we have also a part to play. For boosting our immunity we should follow instruction of health professional, maintaining social distance,wearing masks & washing of hands by soap/using sanitizer,give up habit of addiction & find out best alternative to keep our physical & mental well- being ok .                  

       For eg-- joining online yoga class, writing, learning something from online that might be useful once the whole system or part of it reopens.                                                                                                                                                                                                   I believe, there is a justification in saying-- the person, who has options or who use to think of having next option lives happily. No matter, whatever be the present situation, he/she would never go down, instead would opt plan-A,Plan-B.........                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            But everything is possible when we are optimistic...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                C)  OPTIMISM -

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope"---"Helen Keller" This beautiful quote remind us importance of having hope at every step of our life. Impact of optimism is of many kind mainly----

• It rejuvenates us to go for next step.
• Optimism helps to go on in our life.
• It helps us to keep our mental stress under our control by nullifying negative psychological factors like pessimism,unhealthy criticism,low self esteem etc.
• Even in illness, it acts as catalyst to recover at the earliest.
• It has good impact on life skill techniques like- communication, negotiation,critical thinking,problem solving,creative thinking etc which in turn benefit us in our holistic growth within social, personal,physical & emotional terms.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     In today's context, we might have forgotten two aspects--- cause & effect relationship & where there is will,there is way also. Finding that way is our responsibility. It is our responsibility to define our problem & instead going down-- prioritising those problem, adopting SOA strategy & take action in order to live a full of our life.                                                                                                                                                   Lets remind & understand the survival of fittest quote which describes-- Survival does n't matter how much strongest or intelligent one is. It totally depends on how one can best manage change.                                                                            Are you ready to take the challenge of present change for the sake of yourself?                                                                                                                                                                                             Adopt "SOA" strategy & justify -how it works wonderfully . Lets hope for the removing of black clouds & hoping for a sunny day--- sooner or later.... if not today may be in forthcoming tomorrow.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Ref:-                                                                                                                                                                               
• The Guardian.
• Survey conducted by Network Media,India,March'2020.
• Success.com, News18.com
• CMIE(Center for Monitoring Indian Economy)
• Brooking Institution , NW,Washington Dc
• Health world.com
• www.Worldometers.info