In search of happiness & pleasant Moment......

We all are in search of having happiness & pleasant moment. To come out from anxiety/unpleasant situation,we use many ways.

In our daily life we might have seen in our neighborhood that (for e.g) Mr Das  is an alcoholic & he often disturbs his family but simply he denies the fact or if we consider (for e.g)Mr. Sen-who had a bad day at work, went back to his family & started quarreling with his wife or beating his children . 

These are the examples of using our defensive mechanism which we use in our daily life. Ist case is the example of "Denial"(Denying of fact) & the 2nd one is "Displacement "(directing frustration/negative feelings towards object/person who would n't be threatening or  would be less challenging). We know that---

When we confront a situation that might lead to create/face an anxiety/unpleasant condition,  then our ego find a way to relieve us from those situation. These  ways /means of dealing & minimizing our anxiety & providing relief  is called defense mechanism.

In psychology class, when our professor used to teach Personality & defense mechanism, I with some other students really felt dizziness. But its importance in our life can't be avoided.       Why?

Because We can identify the personality of people in our surroundings. It can help us to take decision on ---either to go for rapport building in relationship or to move out from that relationship status.

Now briefly we can have a note that :-

1.our personality is based on three pillars--- Id(operates on pleasure seeking principle),Ego(based on reality principle) & Super Ego(operates on morality principle like what is right/wrong). These are constantly in interactive phase & we behave as per those aspects.

2. When we face a situation that seems to create anxiety, then ego activate certain mechanism in an unconscious level.

Some example of defensive mechanisms in our daily life are- Denial, repression,Projection,Displacement, regression,Rationalization,Sublimation,Reaction formation, Intellectualization etc.

     Using of defense mechanism have both advantage and disadvantage in our life & they are "Mature" & Immature" types.  Mature types are considered to be more adoptive as these reflect- accepting fact & minimizing /diminishing  anxiety stimuli -channelizing into a healthy forms instead of keeping those problem aside.  I am going to describe those with examples.

1.Sublimation:

For e.g- you are very much frustrated at your co-workers or friends. Now instead of  showing any negative behavior you choose to redirect or channel your -ve thoughts on  music,arts etc .  Thus by adopting positive strategy you enhance your appropriate & comparatively safe activity.  Here your uncomfortable & negative feelings have been transformed into productive purpose. 

   Another e.g-- Suppose, if  you are feared of dying in COVID 19 then you might take a step to follow maintaining your hygiene by washing with soaps  or joining online yoga class or following intake of hygienic food to boost your immunity.

  Thus Sublimation defines as the defensive mechanism which redirect /transform our uncomfortable thoughts/feelings into a positive & healthy activity without ignoring those.

2. Suppression:-

E.G--- You are upset with the behavior of your fiancee. But as you both are in a restaurant & others friends  are also there, you decided to talk later when not surrounded by other friends. 

Here you consciously  try to force your uncomfortable feelings  (or push it) out of your consciousness. 

 We all know it differs from "Regression"- another type of defensive mechanism(which is not considered as mature type) where one unconsciously force that uncomfortable feelings out of consciousness. for e.g-- a person having no recollection of abusing in the childhood & repressed it may find difficulties in forming of relationship that means here that repression might influence behavior in later life.

   However as we are discussing only on mature type , we will proceed further with defensive mechanism--

3.Distraction:-   

E.G-- Suppose in  the next day you have your inter University final football match & you are so much worried about the forthcoming  result of match that you even can't sleep at night. Then you decide to keep away that disturbing thoughts by switching on your mobile to watch songs or films.

Here through this mechanism you controlled of your negative thoughts to get relief.

4. Intellectualization:-

E.G- You have tested +ve in COVID19. Now instead of feeling weak -emotionally, you started collecting information about the process of quarantine, drugs to be taken & what type of hygiene you should maintain to overcome from that disease.

      Here you have ignored the emotional part & use rational thoughts to deal with the anxiety.  Actually we have both conscious & unconscious mind. This type mechanism would try to involve only the conscious or logical part to deal with the crisis.

    Though it can provide relief but we should also know about our feelings & how to deal with these. During life situation avoiding emotional part for long time & inability to deal it  might  take us to unhealthy state.  For e.g- in the death of near & dear ones, if someone started emphasizing on completion of funeral process without having any feelings of loosing  (for eg-  not crying) then the person might have  physical problem.

Actually, in this materialistic world where everyone is running towards name,fame & success ,they don't have time even to know their inner- feelings. The inability to deal with emotional crisis within later when confronted with adverse situation like -failure,rejection lead  to situation like committing suicide or suffering from  chronic mental depression .

Some  of the steps might be useful if we really want to have better living -

1. Take the help of our  trustworthy persons:- Tell them to observe what type of mechanism we  use in time of  facing anxiety/unpleasant situations.
2. Though Defensive mechanism comes from our unconscious mind but we can learn to practice mature and long lasting defensive mechanism.
3.  To learn life skill education-- like-- Negotiation, decision making,problem solving, creating +ve self image etc  to name a few.     
4. To take the help of Mental health professional if you think that you are incapable to deal with your anxiety/negative feelings.                                                                                             Many of us feel ashamed to seek help of professional lest our friends & neighbors  come to know & start criticizing as mental patient.  Actually whatever degree we might have  & to what an extent we might be educated, still there needs mass awareness regarding that. Still we have to wait a long time  for that  when seeking help to Mental health professional would seem as same as seeking medical  help in  times of our  other illness.                                           We have to do this if we want to have happiness/pleasure in our life.                                          I forgot to mention my fear with the person  who use "Reaction formation" as a defensive mechanism.  "Reaction formation" is a defensive mechanism where a person behaves in quite  opposite way as he/she feels.                                                                                                                                                                                                                 One great e.g - of  using "reaction formation" can be mentioned by the Chines Army. They often go with the slogan--"Hindi-Chini-Bhai Bhai"(People of Hindustan & Chines are brothers) but in reality do the act of  a traitor.                                                                                                                                                                                                However, What defensive mechanism do you use when face an unpleasant situation? Think &  find it out.                                                                                                                                            https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/videothumb_large7629/76294601.mp4